Shreds Of Shame

you wanted me to wear shame always

you wanted to watch it slide down my skin like hot tar,

pulling me apart as it went.

As soon as any of the burns started to scab over

you were there to cut into me again.

Etching all the reasons i was wrong into my identity,

sewing my eyes shut

so i couldn't see anything but this mutilated version of myself

you created along side my abject failure you put into motion.

i wonder if you know what it's like to rip stitches from your own eyes.

i thought of making new skin, too.

like the snake you always imagined i was. 

but i decided to keep the scars, add them to the pile. 

because i am not ashamed of anything anymore except you

and the scars are a warning:

i've been eviscerated more than i can count

by the one singular person who was not supposed to.

Imagine what else i could weather and still keep kicking