What A Lovely Prize

This may shock you (sarcasm)

but i went to look for joy in some filthy places-

places i knew were probably peddling counterfeit goods,

but everything was so shiny.

and sometimes just to have pretend, just to 

be ignorant of the fact, makes it all so worth while.

i found joy once

and, believe you me,

it fucking found me back.

But the devil wanted to see if she could turn me

by taking it.

Now all i have is a hole

stuffed with prayers that God won't hear,

and my only joy is knowing

that my persistence makes the devil spit.

i win by not losing,

there won't be a trophy,

my prize is death.

the sweet embrace of the beyond