Gambler

We either bet on ourselves

and create our own future.

Or take the payout

while building that of another. 

 i play roulette for rejection,

betting single numbers to get the big payouts,

and i win every time.

i have amassed enough rejection

to fill six stone water jars,

to fill every nook and cranny of my home,

to tattoo every undesirable inch of my skin,

more rejection than i could ever possibly use.

But i keep betting,

hoping to change my stars.

And every time i hear the wooden clacking

of the marble against the wheel

i brace myself.

i know someone else is going to tell me

i am not enough to love.