Odd Thoughts

i'm falling to pieces... you can't behead the headless

how many ways can one fall? This is more of a thought process and an ongoing one than my regular shlock. Corruption comes in an unlimited amount of flavors, money, power, sex, drugs etc. yet what about thought? Can your thoughts naturally become corrupted? Does the theme of kigare come back into to play? The more and more i find myself being swallowed by this misery my mind sinks back to kigare. Corruption, stagnation, rot. 

The loss of ones head has been seen in many cultures in history and around the world as a loss of the ego, or the loss of an identity (for obvious reasons). The prideful brought low. Karma in way. Especially in some Asian cultures this would curse you to become a monster, headless wandering and violent. Sounds familiar only if i am looking in the mirror. Using ones strength in a way that is not right, plain and simple not right, curses you to become a hideous abomination. How many times in our lives do we see this actually occur? Celebrity brought low for one reason or another. Or a family member? Corruption is a well that never runs dry, its up to you whether you want a thimble full or a swimming pool. Those choices have consequences yes but in the end once you are on the highway its tough to get off and there aren't alot of places to pull off. And the damage remains like scars, mind body and soul. Guilt in its own way is corruption, eating away at every thought you have during the day, every activity you do. You are cursed with guilt, that is why someone who feels none is such a horrible disorder, someone seriously broken. Now is guilt all bad? Of course not. But we are cursed with it nonetheless.

There is also the Komuso monks of the Edo period of Japan. Roughly translated into the monks "of emptyness." They would wear straw baskets on their heads symbolizing the absence of ego. Spies and mercenaries of the times would also disguise themselves as these monks so as to hide their identity while they carried out their business. Sounds similar to being headless no? The loss of ego, one violently and one willingly. One through corruption and the other from an attempt to be pure. 

So to turn the mirror onto one self i see

nothing

i resemble nothing of what i used to

whether good

or bad

i'm falling to pieces

headless and alone

is there nothing that can end this nightmare?

end this curse?