WhY?

Why the hate, why the hostility? Tell me now why you despise the look of me. Tell me how I can fix it. Am I that bad? Am I that worthless that you cannot even look at me for a straight minute? How dare you even think such a lie that you say " why of course Joshua I miss you as much you to I." for it is just that, a lie. Actions speak louder than words so no matter how much I change no matter how much confidence that I accumulate changes nothing of your faith towards me! I HATE IT TO NO END THE DISRESPECT YOU GIVE ME!!!! YOU OWE ME AWE!!!!!! I cannot stand the pain, the looks the very image you have of me. Your god gives me nothing yet you say "pray and you will receive!". Lies! All lies! You will not receive anything good with looks like this! Nothing but pain will flow your way when you are like me. NOTHING!! So you ask the stupid question: why are you changing? Look me in the eyes and ask it, then look me down head from toe and try to comprehend it. Fine you don't believe me? take a look, follow me into the parties and the bars and look at what the people say and do! Just look at the faces and see the disgust i attract. No longer, come hell or high water it will not happen anymore. I will not live in a world that does that, take that how you will, you know what it leads too. I will not LIVE like this! If thats not a clue then what is?