Choices

"You don't have to look very hard for heaven or hell,they are right here on earth,evidently it comes down to u and the choice you make..."-Author unknown

I have never needed to make choices like this. My every thought is consumed with them, who? When? Why? I can't stand it. Should I stay or go? Wait for happiness or settle because I can. Of all the lives in all the world they had to walk into mine. Every waking moment is bent around these single thoughts. All I want is peace. I wish things to be the way they were when I didn't need to make these choices that either way I make a wrong and hurt someone too special to be hurt. I am so lost, so confused, so forsaken...Why? Ask your god. He has never given me the choice before, and now, when my world already was ripped from me I am given choices to make when I am not prepared to make them, nor are the people to have them made too. Oh the anguish is horrible. I need your help, guidance and love. You have shown me the light, showed me I can be a masterpiece, that I am one in the making! Such a thing is still unthinkable but you have helped me see it! And I still wait and hope. Which is what I think I am going to do, I will wait. I will sit and wait because you showed me I deserve happiness like all the rest, no matter what. So I will make you proud, I will wait for you and in waiting will become something worthy of the wait. Worthy of your love and understanding for it was you who understood when others didn't, listened when others didn't, was there when others weren't. A choice? Yes. And we are seeing the outcome of that choice every minute of my life. I only hope it all ends up good in the end...