Notice

Guy. Gets on a subway. Dies. Think anybody'll notice?...

In L.A. literal millions and millions of people who get on the subway every day. There have been many cases of people who have rode the rails for days after passing away because no one cares no one ever notices. Same can be said about the suburban area we live in. We may not have the millions and millions of people but go out and you will see it, no one notices, no one cares. So a guy. Goes to a bar. Dies. Think anybody'll notice? So comes to the point of the blog where i ask "I'm that guy, will anybody notice when I'm gone?"

Singed Wings

"Twice or thrice had I loved thee before I knew thy face or name, so in a voice, so in a shapeless flame, angels affect us oft, and worshipped be...."

Angels affect us oft, what a simply wonderful phrase. But ask 10 people and 8 of them will think you are crazy for saying something so meaningless. But the two who understand it will probably not care to think of the meaning but it too is simple. People like you pick the beggers of this life off the ground and give them hope. You are what keeps people going. And although you most likely unhappy thinking God has abandoned you, just remember this (even though you will most likely not believe it). God put you here on this rock for us, troubled people. People who have no hope but to see you, to even hear you. Thats why you are here kid. So please do all of us a favour and keep going, keep smiling, because we never get tired of that.

"I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels, but I call them my best friends."
"When I die and go to heaven, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize angels' faces because I just met one on earth."

The pieces that I put away

There is sadness in the reflection, one long look is all that it takes. So there I lay broken, distorted upon the mirror. Looking for the courage to keep going when looking at yourself in such a distorted view. It will play tricks upon the mind, will influence what you do and how you do it. Such a pity that the mirror I look through is broken beyond repair, almost as much as yours but I don't delude the image thinking that it shows something that is not real, yet people still tell me to. I can only say what the mirror shows, you can all see it as well as I can I just choose to really "see" it while you just shutter it away with phrases like " confidence will cure it all!" like some miracle drug or something your God just decided to care about. Your help tho to see me wake from this nightmare is duely noted, but just change the direction into a one that is not so fantasy. But I cannot control you, never could. But realize I am not ignoring you, I just know myself better than you do. But enough of my griping. I will put away this accursed mirror and not think of it again, I will put away the pieces of this broken dream, and maybe just maybe when I wake I will have a new mirror! A new dream, and all will be well...

The Word

I have heard the word, and the word is me...

I have finally heard the word, i have been defeated and brought down, i have been dropped to my knees when hope ran out. On this day i see clearly now, everything has come to life! Regret won't waste my life again! I will no long wish for what might have been, for i know if it was or not. I truly see clearly, i really hear the word. Who woulda even knew that who woulda even thought possibly Cupid could shoot another one of them God damn darts at me, It's true that I got shot in the heart but when someone seems too good to be true, they usually are but see, when you're in it it's too hard to see. Loving eyes will never see, thats why you have to wake up like i did, see the light, hear the word, stop living a lie. It's not what you know in life, it's what you can prove. I don't think, i know, this sh*t is chess not checkers. Remeber that. and just as you halt and you turn and you start to leave, you hear them words echoing, almost haunting, that taunting ring. And the final result, back in that same boat, so I ask myself, do I love these hoes? NO!