A bit of a rant...

This is weird but i am drunk so live with it...

Jack of all trades? Jack of blades, and yet nothing. Such is the punishment for the baring of false witness to the lord and his servants. To see the eye and yet for it proclaim in plain English...i see you. Plain and simple no? For the punishment of a Judas today would be to cut out the eyes so they may not see the pain they cause and to rip out the tongue so no more false witness may be proclaimed! And leave nothing but the ears so that the persons life is nothing more than the word, but they may not speak it nor see what good the word will cause. They have the only course but to listen and reflect. Such is the punishment for Judas, whatever the form they may come in. Do you see the mask? Do you see what it has done? What was done to me was monstrous, and yet if created a monster. One must not hide behind a mask for too long, lest they forget who and what lies behind it...

Masks we where...

What was done was monstrous and yet it bred a monster. We chant where masks for too long lest we forget who lies beneath them. Sometimes this is good, most look upon it as being bad. But the fundamental truth that lies with all of this is that the faster and harder you run from your sins, the far more tired you are when they catch up with you. You can drown your sins a sea of good deeds but in the end the truth is that they stink and they will always come back. Masks or not. The truth always sets you free...

The Gospel according to Devotion and the understanding of the faith...

Devotion meaning that which is devoted. When you are devoted you put all your time and energy into whatever it is you are devoted too. You put your entire being into this one single point in your life. Sometimes you pay with your mind, other times you pay with your soul, the one true truth in this regards is that you will pay, one way or another...

Now to understand is to know, and you should devote yourself to the understanding of that which can and will make your life complete. If you listen to nothing else listen to this, there must be understanding; why else for the universe to utter us into existence than to allow our individual voyages of discovery-detection, if you will-with the threads of all the passages finally woven into the Ultimate Understanding, a great cosmic cooing of "Why didn't I figure it out"? How elegant. How simple.

It is just like the Rosary in its simplicity. One must be devote and understand what one is praying or like Pope Pius the sixth said and I quote: "Without contemplation, the rosary is a body without a soul, and its recitation runs the risk of becoming a mechanical repetition of formulas in violation of the admonition of Christ." Couldn't have put it better myself. Example, if you will, you say you understand what this site spills and all that it means but I truly know deep down in my bones you nothing of the strife and ideas that have gone into the writing of this abomination I call my window to my mind and soul. Such a pity the lord I served for so long would punish me in such a way. I do suppose that this is my cross and the only true way for me to be admonished of my sins is that I truly must pay for whatever they were. Now and until the end of my days, and hopefully not a day later. There have been many bumps, there have been many pot holes if you will. He has sent angels and demons in my path to blind me and make this worse that what it should be. But I stay steadfast to the cause and remain devote. I will not be broken again, for death will come before I give in to that wretched feeling that compels one to feel for another. Never again will I be subject to suffering such as that. I will die and end it all in a blaze of righteousness before I am made weak once again. Lest we forget, we must always stay devote, even when that path leads astray and brings no mercy upon the righteous, we must always believe the sunrise will come. That our reward will someday be great. And no matter how horrible our place in the world is, no matter how unbearable it seems to be. In the end it will come to those with devotion and understanding...

The Crusifixtion

This was the end. The death and destruction of our lord. We all deal with this death in our minds for he made it personal that the chosen would be able ignore while those he deamed unworthy would have suffer and deal with the what the rest of the world could not. Such a punishment so that others may live in peace even if the few are tortured beyond life, left up on the cross we bore with so much vigilance and devotion...but that is your god, your faith. That is how we are repaid for faith, pain, suffering, torture. Whether it be in the mind body for soul....

The carrying of the cross

We all have our crosses to bear. We all have our paths to take. Long, short, narrow, wide. It is all the same in the end. All paths lead to the same place. What matters not how we get there, only that we do. The ends justify the means and if that means giving up my mortality to ease this pain then so be it... I now longer wish to carry this cross! Ever again...

The Crown of Thorns

The crown of thorns was made as a mockery to our lord because they nicknamed him the king of the Jews, and what is a king without a crown? Not only did it cause pain because of the idea and the fact that it was thorns but it also obscured his path and vision, metaphorically and literally. We all go through this, when our paths are staind and we cannot see them clearly. Whether it be by the idea of pain or the pain itself, or even the after effects of the pain. Although we must stay vigilant, and with devotion and intelligence, our paths become clear again and we break through the mist. We will eventually all see, it just takes time. What we must do is not be broken or misled by the image, we must break through and see reality, not to trust to hope. Hope is just the denial of reality and will cloud your vision and your path more than anything. In life it is what you can prove, not what you know...

The Scourge at the pillar

The scourge at the pillar is referring to the point in the lords life were he was bound to a pillar and whipped and abused as punishment and the beginning of the crucifixion. We all suffer our own beatings in a way. Whether mentally or physically. Or whether we induce it ourselves or not is all irrelevant. We still endure that what we must not. For our lord endured this pain so we may not but in the end it just really showed that we must endure the same as he save the fact that we are not a god or part of the god and when we die we are dead. That is the end, no more. We don't get assailed into heaven on golden wings, we either end up there or in the other place we are more accustomed too then heaven. For we deal with hell all the time, but it is different for different people. The world is just to ignorant to figure that out. Which is another way of beating us, whipping us or what not. And the sad part is this is only really the beginning of the journey, we still have more torment and agony to endure! Such a pity our savior would put us through so much pain and heart ache just to send us to hell in the end...

The Agony in the Garden

Agony is a mixture of pain, suffering and sadness. Both emotionally and physically, and even more so mentally....

When our lord was laid forsaken to the enemy and his own father deserted him like the very people he has called his children (us in case you can't figure it out). His own son was to die in order that we may live yet that didn't really pan out now did it. To this very day we are tortured and burned by the hell fire and brimstone that is the barren waste land of the mind. And for one's father to forsake them to the wolves of the enemy is one thing that warrants agony. But there should be hope, just like the lord and savior was resurrected on the fifth day so too can the mind given enough time and preparation. For it is that time of year when the clouds can lift and the storm can finally pass. I have already seen signs of it. Whether it will clear for good and allow our lives to carry on as breathlessly as they did before remains to be seen but I have hope. For once in my life I decide to defy the reality and look to the sky. If not for me for others who will not rest till they see me as deluded as they are. I wonder if the lord ever had these delusions? Or if there were a voice in his head that was his own but not his own. And eye reathed in flames...

The Five Mysteries of the bible...

Entering the week of easter there are five "Mysteries" that our lord and saviour endured in his finally time on earth, the were:

The Agony in the garden
The scourge at the piller
The crown of thorns
The carrying of the cross
The crucifixtion

Those are the "Sorrowful Mysteries" and they pretty much explain themselves but in the following week i am going to be writing on them and how they are still played out in our lives today. For believe it or not they are, every year at this time we all go through the pain and suffering our lord went through.

The Gospel according to destiny and issergence of fate

The difference between fate and destiny has been on the minds of those with enough sense to actually think of it. Fate is what happens without your control, it just does. Destiny is pretty much what will happen when you put it into effect. More like consequences really. One must embrace one or the other if either effect is it work and truly bring us about the path that we were truly meant to follow. Our spot is exactly that...Our spot. Whether we like it or not there is a driving force in our lives that will send us there when we stray. Destiny? Fate? Or that wretched thing you call god? We may never know till it is our path to die, in mind body and soul. For many of us are already dead in many ways. Yet we still linger on like a novel you just can't get into. Suffer behind these masks of happiness. Nothing but reality can bring true happiness and even then it isn't happiness, more like content. And we all have that thing that will make us content too, we just need to find it. And even then it isn't up to you, more like destiny...

The Haze of the mind...

Looking into your mind, or into the minds of others. Do you see? Do you finally see the Haze that covers the minds eye is truly there? I wish it would lift. But the old sins come back, and like a fire that will just not die the smoke returns to blind my eyes and lead me astray. Will I take the path? Will I walk down the path the great one tells me not too? I don't know, i suppose that chapter will have to come later. I have not proven him wrong yet. He speaks like no other and knows for too much for me to think i can break his way again. Do I want to take the path, yes of course i want to believe that i will not be lead astray and broken like i was before. But i made a promise that i would finally become, and how can one become when one is broken? I will not be broken again, i swear it...