My Prayer

I haven't prayed in ages but I think ya'll might like this one...

Dear lord, I haven't spoken since that fall, the abandonment but I think you might want to hear me out this time. I pray for change, I pray for love, money, wealth, etc. But I know for the most part you haven't listened before and you most likely will not now, but I needed to pray, I needed to say this, I needed help for this one and I didn't know who else to come to. I have fallen under a spell I have fell under a power I don't know how to combat, how to fight. You broke my will ages ago and I have no more will to fight this, I fell so easily to this it knocked me from my feet. i need her like the rose needs the rain, she is the angel that takes away the pain that she has caused. Everytime i look into her eyes i see an angel in disguise, and there was a time i didn't believe in angels, but then i met her and fell under the spell and was beaten down. Twice or thrice had I loved thee before I knew thy face or name, so in a voice, so in a shapeless flame, angels affect us oft, and worshipped be. So now i must pray, i NEED change, i NEED evolution. i can't stand being me anymore, because being me is not what she needs, not what she wants.The man she wants is the man I want to be, but without her, I can't be that man. Without her, that man's gone forever. And i need her, so in turn i need to change to be something to her. If she is is my best and first choice, then second best must be an angel whose beauty would defy the goddesses themselves. So lord PLEASE grant me change, change me! Lord please Lead me not into temptation, heaven help me to be strong. I can't fight all that I'm feelin', and I can't do it alone. Help me break this spell that I'm under, guide my feet and hold me tight. I need 10,000 angels watchin' over me tonight. I need her so much, i can't stand it, so please change me, change life. Or grant me peace, change somthing because i can't stand being nothing. This lord i pray, i pray for one of the first time in a long time. Please with all my heart, change. i need her....

Morbid

Everyone has a morbid side to them, and with that they have different definitions of the word too, this is mine and what others have thought of the morbid behaviour i have...

Morbid, what a strange word. We all are morbid in our own way, just differently and to different degrees. Most people think morbid is getting enjoyment outta blood, gore, disturbing images and what not. Me? it's solitude, not doing anything, no change. Or could be insanity, doing the same thing over and over again expecting different resualts. Maybe it's what others have pointed out the most...wanting something that doesn't exsist, wanting something that i will never have, wanting something that isn't there, isn't real. This i believe is true, because if you think about it, i have always been chasing something that will never be, praying to something that doesn't exsist, wanting things i will never ever have. Thats my morbid, and if you don't agree with it, just stop and think about it, just look at my life and expierences and tell me thats not true. I know what your morbid is about, it's about thinking something about me that isn't true, underestimation is half the crime. SO when it comes to stuff like this, i am never wrong. Cuz just think about it for a second. Who would know MY life better? Me? or you? Ya it took me awhile to see this, but thats my morbid, thats how morbid i am. Once the paper is crumpled it is never the same you know?

Need

I need you, we have all expierenced it, we have all had it. I need you, i have always needed you, and i always will.I need to hear you, you are the light that is leading me to the place where i can find peace. You are the strength that keeps me walking, you are the hope that keeps me trusting, you are the life to my soul, you are the purpose, you are everything and how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you? You are everything, everything to me, and i wish i was something to you. Something more than just a nice guy or a stupid kid. I have fallen even more in love with you with every breath i take, every thought that has you in it, which is everythought cuz you are everything to me. I can't stop thinkin about you, night and day, day and night, non stop and it's driving me insane. Short drive i know but still the point is that much the same. I love you, i need you, more than ever. We can't be and i know this, and live it, but it helps non, because for those who have had need, they know they can't just stop needing in an instant. I know you wish me to be just another name, and i will be, just give it time. My love for you will eat me up and kill me, because i can't live without you, and without you is all i will ever be, so dead in the end non-the-less.