An Apt Description

she is beautiful

but her looks never

stood a chance when

compared to how

breathtaking her soul is.

Those eyes of hers

could swallow stars,

galaxies and universes.

What hope did i

ever have?

You Are Magic

There's magic 

in your soft eyes,

soft gaze,

soft kisses

and all your softer shades

The Last For You

i'll throw my voice into

the stars and maybe the echo

of my words will be written

for you in the clouds by sunrise.

All i am trying to say is, i will 

love you through the darkness.

Why else love

if not to feel stars

exploding in our veins?

A Silly Little Thing

Pretty is for moon

and stars in crowds.

Cute is for rabbit

and bunny-shaped clouds.

Beautiful are things

that weaken one's knee.

And, sometimes, dear,

you are all three

Were

eyes of early morning summer grey
stares at the soul inside
sometimes softly
sometimes of fire
but always lady grey

go back to your light
years ago you
of Icelandic coffee's and sweet wines
now boards and fat and dead end of
what made you you.

You were creative
you were divine
elegance
grace
energy
You were loved for what you brought to this world
always creating
always producing

your photos used to be better
your light used to be brighter
now you settle for ease
when true happiness could have been yours

A Goddess deserves better,
the world is worse off without it
you can be true again

Dead Men Tell Zip

i'm haunting
decaying history
golden dreams traded
like dirty currency
i paid the cost
in sudden loss
when i lost you and me

pity we can't die twice
or i swear
i'd try tonight

i'm all too aware
of the silence
in my chest cavity
where the heart
you ripped out of me
(while still beating i might add)
used to be

before you made
a ghost of me

Who Seduces Who?

she knows how this goes
waiting without certainty
letting go
of history so
unusual

he sees her across the room
glowing, real slow
shining with
the rhythm of a heavy heart

he knows how this goes
waiting with passivity
hoping to move her
down.
to
his
scorching
earth.

mood too sweet
peace so violent
mauled by mystery
so light
and heavy
truth

Can't Swim

The current swells
in my mouth
drowning my words,
i kiss the surface goodbye
as i swallow the undertow

Dead Before Dawn

Cruel memories blossom

lately in my head

you were something to die for

and i'm already dead

Long Memory

When the day comes

where you try to return to me

know that,

i will not be your home,

because i'll always remember 

how your eyes lit up

when you tried to burn me

to the ground

A Garden Of Weeds

The bitter truth is

you're the roots of me

and i don't want

this overgrown garden

untended and wild

the need weeding

have i been watering

the spend seeds

of what has slowly

been withering?

in the garden of dead things

i've got pruning shears

and a bucket of tears

so here goes nothing

picking our weedy remains

i'm ready to place them

in an old, dusty vase

and call them flowers

they won't bloom

like i wish they would

a weed cannot become a rose

Sunrise, Sunset, Sunburn

Home is a place
i no longer recognize
these eyes; once
celadon sunlight
can no longer distill
the sun in the sky
from the horizon line
which, at sunrise
held worlds; held everything

it used to bring
and hold so much magic
and promise and possibility
i used to want to
walk it like a tightrope
the thin stretch of life
would be ours alone
i'd build our home
where dreams can't die

we'd kiss the stars
and one another
goodnight

but now, home
is only the skin
i am stitched into
not the dreams
i longed to cling to

so i will sit here; resolute
and stare into
that horizon line
until our sunset
becomes a sunrise

She Wolf

She,

finds me along the tail of darkness,

in the lithe light that drivels down

and lusts after my shadow.

My shadow, who feigns

in the sweat that breaks

between fever dreams and nights teeth.

Wakes morning

to starve the smell of my footsteps.

And in the dark, she waits

to dream again

to cry wolf

Beyond

is there a feeling beyond numb?
somewhere between bitterness
and anguish, my proverbial
rock and a hard place
i live here now and am
beyond wishing it was not so.
Endless defeats mounted
on infinite routes leads only
to one place of almost void like apathy
and misanthropy 

Oh i Always Knew

They say you don't know what you've got till it's gone,
but the truth is, with you, i always did.
not a day passed by where i didn't thank
the stars or worship the earth that you walked on.
that's real loss. To know what you have,
to cherish every moment, and still watch it
slip away.

Can i Belong To You Again?

Consume me

but this time completely

please

every part of my existence

so there is no place on my body and in my 

soul that doesn't belong to you

yes i want to belong to you 

because as much as i only belong to me

this i want to belong to you too

Tell Me

Tell me, father,

which to ask forgiveness for:

what i am, or what i'm not?

Tell me, mother,

which should i regret:

what i became, or what i didn't?

I Am As God Made Me

even on the graveyard of my
memories, love seeks the
passion i carry. you can't
create it, you can't destroy it.
you can only feel it...

these flowers of bliss, grew on the graveyard of my memories. When hell came calling, she hid behind mirrors of illusion and made love to the death of love, my love. i ran towards her to let her know that love like a soul can't be created nor destroyed. She fell in a pit of shame when my soul met one that could be one with all of my words, my beliefs. In the end, what was left was my desire to watch her grow and her desire to never see me smile. The rivers now carry songs of passion when i ride them with my soul in their bend and the flowers that once knew hate as a way to live, breathe nothing but the scent of my love for love.

Same Old Story

it's dark
nothing matters.
we're both tired of my shit
i've convinced myself
nothing is worthwhile again
nothing is worth the trouble.
yeah,
nothing matters,
isolation feels like the logical answer
although logic and emotion intertwine
sad and reckless
lost in it
devoured by it

She said He Said

she said, that she

loved with

reckless abandon;

heart broken

when it's not

returned

he said, that's

why i push

everyone away;

longing for solitude

in a place of

disappointment

she said, i once

did the same

but i find it harder

and harder

to push

he said, i'm all

too talented in

that regard,

as he looked

around and saw

only himself and

his loneliness

Can't

Oh girl

have some shame

your habits are still the same...

How can i let this go?

when the fire of

our "relationship"

is felt even in the 

ashes of love that remains.

all i am now is ash,

so fitting then you seek

to spread me hither and yarn

just to be rid of my stain

and to forget.

the air itself carries

memories and ghosts

all it takes is a thought

a smell

a color

a taste

and then the ash returns

seeking embers

seeking the warmth of someone

that is literally what ash is,

once it held heat, it held potential.

now is a dead thing in a dead world

cold and unusable.

waiting for a chance to be

warm again

All We Can Do Is...

Remember,

it comes in pieces

like broken brick

and burning bridges,

like the wars that climbed

like fire then fell

and peace was built

on one hope in hell

Lost Days

i miss the days when the kind
of love i knew was an innocent
kind of love, where everything was
rainbows and stars, not blood
and tears, heartbreaks were only
a mystery, when all i knew was love
is the beginning and ending didn't exist

Big Cities

i erected cities to you

with adoration on my tongue

and you burnt mine down

in the wake of your "love"

Bad Draw

To be a careful creature

was never in my cards,

i learnt that when i was small

when i stepped off the wall

into the wild,

the second something pretty

stained my vision

they new it then,

that i had an eye for fickle things,

and in every favored fortune

i'd always draw the fool

no matter how beautiful

how wonderful

how divine

she is

what she is

Scattered Pieces

On the righteous winds

of bitterness

i scatter

heavy

into the breeze

goes the dead matter

that renders me

uninhabitable

i am floating

carried away

remade

take what's left

make every piece

of what remains

feel safe

am i home

or just finally

undone?

Dance Like No One Is Watching

we dance

in our living rooms

to different tunes of tragedy,

and even in the saddest songs

and the loneliest lullabies,

we still listen, for love

Fire Flower

Our memories

will always bring

the rains back to

my soul

and when it rains,

my soul grows flowers

of fire within me to burn

down worlds that spell hell

to our long lost love.

there is no power stronger than that of a soul

who loves with all its honesty

Double Take

i loved who i thought you were,
who gave me attention, didn't
take me for granted, or my love
who loved me when she was alone
as when she was with people,
when you made me your priority.
i miss that person. i don't miss you
because i realized it isn't you,
it was a mask, someone you
pretended to be, and when you
got tired of acting like you cared,
things started getting bad,
i went one way and you went another,
from bad to worse.
i still love the person
you pretended to be, i miss
someone i fell in love with,
not this horrific show off
monster that you are.

Fool Me Once

you were being you and i knew

since day one that whatever ill do

to you, for you wont ever be enough

because that's who you are

you told me "oh i cannot love anyone

more than i love myself' and i chuckled

and thought to myself she will love me

for ill give her the love she deserves

and the world failed to give so.

but i forgot your ugly face and kept

painting it with my selfless love

you warned me alot, you told

me to go away, shut the door of your

heart in my face, held my hand and dragged

me out of your life, told me you don't need me

but i still stayed, you showed me

i'm not enough and i thought

ill change you, make you love me,

it wasn't you, who let me down

it is me, because you were

being you, the dark you, the ugly you.

People often tell us who they are

intentionally or just when they're

mad, laughing, crying or simply

when they're too vulnerable, they

show us who they really are, and we

who are blinded by love, who would

do anything for them just love them,

and think it's their hurt, lack of love

that made them this person because

that's what we were taught that love it

the cure for everything. Well, a person's true

colors are not a disease, you cannot

cure it. but still you tried, it's you

who gave them chances when they

didn't deserve a damn one of them

in the end

So Very Far

i envy the constant moon

and every ancient star

for being able to 

watch over you always

while i am here; far

from both your stars

and your heart

Tis The Season

There is a season

between the loving and leaving.

where summers teeth nip

at the heels of November,

where our leaves forget

but our roots remember

It's Just You

When you leave,
take your memories
with you.
i do not wish to live
knowing what could
have been

i lie when i say i dont need you. i lie when you are leaving and i tell you to not miss me too much. i admit that i need you and i always will. We have been the center of everything my life has achieved as without happiness, there is no success. My walls speak of you like you are their color and they have been left lifeless without your soul in them. Yes, i am capable of letting you go it that is what you need but i do believe that we are worth a shot. Actually we are worth as much effort it takes to get where we want to. Darkness tries to take me away but our memories hold me in our light. i do not want that light to diminish but i will gracefully accept darkness as my life if you do not wish to be a part of the light that saves me everyday. Accept me as i am, i am as you want. Hold on to me regardless of what i say, i do not wish to hold on to any other light that isn't yours. My words crave for your body in their scriptures like the oceans crave depth in their existence.

Here, There and...

it's interesting
(if not alittle sad)
that i look for you
everywhere i go

...i know...

you wanted to be free
to clean your life
of the stain of me

but i cant help
that i cant help
but miss you
and wish you
would just materialize
out of thin air
anywhere
everywhere

Modern Warfare

There are wars in me that i didnt start
but i go to them, half armed
because i dont want to hurt
my demons as they all look
like the person i loved.
i fell in love at 3 am, not one 3 am,
not like ill say it was the 20th of march,
no, it was many 3 ams and it happened
gradually, and we both knew as our
fingers were making their way to
each other, and our hearts were somehow
dying to get buried in each other's chest.
It happened all along, when we knew the
answers before asking the questions
when details never mattered,
but her details did, still do,
i saw her as an angel,
but you in life you meet people
who are demons,
who have demons and they dont
even know, they are broken
and they think it's a disease,
they break hearts, they make you
weep and label it a condition,
they say they can't improve,
maybe they can, at least i
think they can change but
they have settled, nothing is
more unlikely to change
than a stubborn human
who thinks nothing is wrong
with them, now i go on wars with her,
my legs grow huge from the weight
of her darkness leveled upon me,
scarred and marked from the lashes
of her malcontent, but they are victory
marks, they are war marks that
are born out of a love story,
of a coward and a lover.
An angel who fights demons,
and never defeats them

Spill The Beans

i wanted you to regret

every single word

that you forget

i never heard

i wanted them to escape

through once-locked lips

waiting; hanging open

helpless curtains

swaying in the breeze

an avalanche; waiting